Confessions of a Fallen Angel
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I dug up my old files and found this. This is the inspiration for my new and improve blog. This is not a whole story, just random lines that I wrote when I was still a field GM.
Angels are caring and gentle by nature, thats probably Humans loved angels, its a different kind of love that they have for their gods. Many wished to see an angel and to have one by their side. But Angels are probably the loneliest creature in this world, the God created a world just for them, a world were they could roam and play and observe the humans.
WHere do fallen angels go? Are they still wanted, even if thier wings are broken? Who would want fallen angel afterall fallen angels are uselss without their wings...
Lilith, you are a fool." "Yes, I'm aware of that, but if my foolishness would make someone happy then I'm proude to be one.
And there she all alone and trembling. She locked up her soul and threw away the key, hoping that someone may find it and free her again but also hoping that it will be lost forever so that she will never be hurt gain.
Lucien, remember what the elders say I you love someone you should be happy for him if he is happy? You're happy coz you found a new angel, I should be happy to but why am i crying? - Confessions of A Fallen Angel
Where am i? the prairie is gone, and replaced by the ugly window facing the busy city, I realized, it was only a dream , i don't live there anymore, and i can't go back there ever again. I looked myself in the mirror, I see my broken wings, it reminded me what i was before. I was an angel, but not anymore, i was casted away from my homeland, afterall an angel with broken wings is useless.
I did not have a place to go, no one would accept me, I was forced to live amongst the humans.
"Stop dwelling on the past my dear Lilith, move on and look forward to the future." "How can I move on when everything I had was in the past, and lost them in the present, I have nothing to look forward in the future!"
I had a dream that turned into a nightmare, Lucien left me, he found another angel. Then I asked myself, "Did I fail him? Did I make him unhappy? Why did he leave me?" I woke up crying, I went to him and asked, "You will never leave me right?" "No, my darling Lilith, I wont." Those words still etched inmy mind, it was just a dream, I never believed it. But I guess it was a warning I was too late, it came true, he really left me for another angel...
They say dreams are warnings, I was a fool not to believe in it. Now the Gods punished me for not heeding to their warning...
Gabriel, do you really you love her? If you are sure of what you feel, the you have my blessings, but if have any doubts, then leave her, I don't want Elizabeth to suffer the same fate as mine. Don't do to her what Lucien did to me.
Lucien was her sun, loosing her sun, means facing the darkness, death. Her false hopes for Lucien's return is what keeps her from falling into death's hands.
Sarah hugged her friend and said "It's sad, the only one who could dry your tears was the one who made you cry in the first place."
Sarah tried to comfort her, but alas, Lilith finally gave up and surrendered to Death's calling, she slowly vanished in front of Sarah's eyes.""I'm tired my friend, please tell him that even if i'm not here i'll will always be at his side"
Lucien, you are the reason why I kept on living,loosing you means loosing my reason to live, goodbye my Lucien, I hope you will be happy with her. I'll be with you forever, in spirit.
Xie, Do you know the reason why we live? What would you do if you lost that reason? DO you think God would forgive me if I lost the will to live?
I wish you all the best Gabriel, sadly I can't be here anymore, I decided to give up and watch him from above....
And so with that, Lilith, drifted deeper into the empy space that her troubled heart has created. Will she come out of it again, we will there know.
Lilith gave up the reality and decided to sleep for eternity. Her sorrows and pains kept haunting her and gave birth to a new Lilith, an angel with black wings.
Michael was shocked to see her friend.Lilith looked the except for the black wings and a dark aura sorrounding her. She shooked her and said "Get a hold of yourself, Lucien is not coming back, you have to move on!" Lilith just gave her a blank stare.
"How could you do this to me Lucien?""I
accepted and loved you with all my heart, when the demons of your past came to haunt you, I stood by your side and made sure that you are safe." "You told me that you loved me too, but why did you leave me?"
Michael and the others could tell that Lilith has changed, her great loss changed her dramatically, she is no longer the kind, sweet and compassionate. Her heart is now full of hatred, anger and depression, and no trace of the Lilith that they knew.
Sensing the his friend might do something. Ecanus followed Lilith. Unaware that someone was following her, Lilith continued to look for the angel who took Lucien away from her.
Lilith's reason for living had changed, she is now living in hatred, she came back,to see Lucien kneel in front of her and beg for mercy, beg her to accept him again, it might take long but she doesn't care, anger has overtaken her soul, given her strength to live and see that day...
I just write them down as i go along. When ideas pop into my head in the middle of my work, I just write them down and save them. Hopefully I can write a full story next time. But there is one problem, I can only write when I'm dpressed, so I have do be depressed in order to continue that. And being depressed is bad.... >.<
Lilith @ 5:28 PM
Internet Ettiquette
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
To all who wants to use anything that's on my blog, kindly ask me directly, via my tagboard or email me : gm_lilith@yahoo.com ,and please if you are going to use some web resources for your blogs, don't forget to give credit to the website where you took them from. A small disclaimer and a link to their site would do.
Lilith @ 6:03 PM
Join the Cosplay Contest for Ep. 6
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Episode 6: Amatsu and Kunlun Cosplay
March 12, 2005 at Market, Market - Global City, Fort Bonifacio
Categories:
Twin hearts award (best RO cosplaying couple) - P 10,000
Super Novice award (Best cosplayer aged 12yo. and below) - P 3,000
Midgard?s Finest (1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, for over-all cosplayers.
). 1st - P 5,000, 2nd - P 3,000, 3rd - P 2,000
Craftsmanship award P 2,000
General Cosplay Guidelines:
1. Anyone can take part in the contest, regardless of your gender or age.
2. Amatsu & Kunlun cosplayers will automatically get a Level Up Amatsu an Kunlun Goodie bag from Level Up.
3. Since this is the Amatsu & Kunlun launch for pRO, the characters which you will be cosplaying as should be characters from Ragnarok Online, the Ragnarok manhwa (Korean comic book), or theRagnarok anime.
4. No volatile/explosive/toxic/radioactive/reactive/corrosive/easily flammable substances are allowed. Although you can still use fake blood or confetti, please make sure the mess will be at a minimum. This is also for the safety of the cosplayer who will be going onstage after you.
5. Microphones will be provided for the cosplayers.
6. If you plan to carry a weapon, you must conform to the following:
- Real weapons are strictly not allowed. If your characterneeds to have a weapon, you can bring a replica or make it out of cardboard or wood (this also gives you points for craftsmanship!). Please inform us beforehand what props you will be bringing for thecosplay.
- All props should be kept/carried with the utmost caution.Level Up! will bear no responsibility towards any injury as a resultof a cosplayer's carelessness.
- Level Up! reserves the right to bar the usage of any props that may seem potentially dangerous and/or harmful.
7. No profanity or rude gestures will be tolerated onstage. This convention is for everyone, so let's keep it clean. You don't need to be rude to be funny. Those who will disregard this rule will be automatically disqualified and barred from entering any Level Up! cosplay event in the future.
8. Jumping off-stage, interacting with the MC, & interacting with the judges is not allowed
9. Level Up! reserves the right to withdraw the rights of participation and/or props should one be found to break any of the aforementioned rules/regulations. Ignorance is no excuse.
11. The judges' decision is final, no appeals will be entertained.
12. Level Up! may tape or photograph contestant entries at its discretion. Entry into this contest constitutes an agreement by theentrants to allow Level Up! to use their likeness/image, etc in any current/future advertisement, promotion, or product.
13. Registration for the contest will be from 11am to 1pm.
14. The judges will decide the final winners. Only cosplayers who dressed up as an RO couple are eligible to win the twin hearts award. A couple must consist of a male RO character and a female RO character, although there won't be restriction on the gender of the cosplayers (So, if one is cosplaying as an RO priest with a priestess, but they are both girls, they are eligible to join). The other categories up for grabs in the contest are: Super Novice (Best cosplayer aged 12yo. And below), Midgard?s Finest award(1st,2nd and 3rd place, for over-all cosplayers) & Craftsmanship award.
15. The criteria for judging will be:
Accuracy- How close thecosplayer's costume resembles those of the character he/she iscosplaying as (30%),
Craftsmanship ? The amount of creativity given by the cosplayer in the construction of their accessories or props (30%),
Presentation ? How well the cosplayer presented his/her character to the audience on stage (30%),
Audience Impact (10%).
Prizes:
Twin Hearts award
-P10,000 cash
-+8 Crown & +8 Tiara & 30 Old Purple Boxes for the each couple
-A Level Up! Gift pack.
Super Novice award-P3,000 cash
-+6 Angel Helm & 30 Old Purple Boxes
-A Level Up! Gift Pack
Midgard?s Finest award
First Place
-P5,000 cash
-+6 Angel helm & 30 Old Purple Boxes
-A Level Up! Gift Pack
Second Place
-P3,000 cash
-+6 Angel helm & 30 Old Purple Boxes
-A Level Up! Gift Pack
Third Place
-P2,000 cash
-+6 Angel helm & 30 Old Purple Boxes
-A Level Up! Gift Pack
Craftsmanship award- P2,000 cash
-+6 Angel helm & 30 Old Purple Boxes
-A Level Up! Gift Pack
Note: You can only win one, so for example you won as Midgard's Finest First Place, you can't win the Craftsmanship award as well. Just to give the others a chance to win too. ^^
Lilith @ 7:26 PM
Caffeine Overload!
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Yup, as most of you know, our office is situated at Pacific Star and before you enter the lobby of the building, you will see Starbucks toyour right. Having a Starbucks Cafe downstairs is nice and bad at the same time, nice because I don't have to go out to look for a nearest Starbucks, the downside is I having a hard time resisting the temptation. The smell of coffee is overwhelming I can't resist it.
Here is the list of my Starbucks favorites
1. Mocha Frappe
2. Coffee Jelly Frappe
3. Marshmallow Mocha
5. Hot Chocolate
Keeping this addiction of mine is hard. One trip to Starbucks would cost you at least 95 pesos. Having just one trip is not enough to satisfy me.
Now in order to fuel my addiction and save money at the same time I asked my mom to prepare a packed lunch so I don't have to buy lunch anymore, thats 120 pesos less of my expenses and 120 pesos more to my BJD savings.
Speaking of BJDs, i'm a recently converted Mistula fan. For all of you who don't know Mistula, just click on the link at the right side of my blog for more info. AN I'm now obsessed with BJDs, to the point that I wanted to buy one for myself. Unfortunately, BJDs are not cheap, they came with at least 400$ price tag. so its going to take a while for me to save enough money to buy one.
I was also able to chat with Joey the very first owner of a BJD in the Phil. *waves to Joey*
Lilith @ 9:31 PM
Impersonator ... yet again!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
When will they ever learn? Please be advised that two "GM Hawkeye" is lurking here in friendster. There is no longer a GM Hawkeye. Please report these users to the Friedster administration. I've uploaded the screenshots of their friendster pages:
Impersonator 1
Impersonator 2
For the official list of the pRO Game Masters please visit, the Ragnaboards .
Lilith @ 5:55 PM
Revamped
Thursday, February 10, 2005
After months and months of neglect. I finally got sometime to update my blog, wait not just update, but re-do my whole blog,title, lay out and all. Many thanks to Yukino , for helping me with the lay out . ^^
WELCOME!
Lilith @ 10:25 AM